Second Recipe: breaded chicken, rice, and beans

Chicken, rice, and beans - The staple of many a hispanic diet. I happen to be of two different descents: Puerto Rican and Cuban. A Pu-cub-erican, if you will. I LOVE chicken, rice, and beans. If anyone ever questioned me about being hispanic, I would tell them I adore this dish and be exempt from whatever judgment I was about to receive.

That being said, I decided to do my own take on the dish. Nothing too fancy- I opted to bread the chicken before frying it up. So, without further ado...let's get on this boat.

Firstly, the chicken: As I was starting this dish, I thought to myself "Hans (yeaaaah, you remember ;D), you ALWAYS season the chicken before cooking it. Same seasonings, over and over...you're a boring individual."

I said to my inner dialogue "Hey, shut up. You're INSIDE me, and I don't see you attempting any big changes. You suck just as much."

As I sat there with a quiet debate going on through my head...and possibly looking like a creeper...a solution came to me.

Chop up that goddamned chicken and add an egg to that bitch. Then breadcrumb the hell out of it until it looks like bleached brains.

Yeah, that's bleached brains, all right.

I mean honestly, this stuff was lookin' kinda gross.

Obligatory Myspace photo! People still use that network, right?

I cleared the stove next, since I always seem to have crap cluttered on it.

 Yeah, I'm talking about you, tea kettle. Where do you get off?

Well, with the chicken ready and raring to go I moved onto the next step: Boiling the water for rice. 

 

Oh, I wasn't kidding. We're taking pics of EVERYTHING tonight.

Rice and  I have a problem with each other: I wanna cook it to perfection, and then eat it, and rice is a goddamn jerk. Every time I attempt to make rice, it either comes out too soft and mushy, like porridge, or hard and practically raw, like a dead dinosaur's pelvic bone. I'm not even sure about that simile and what it means, but I'm going with it. I was determined to get it to work tonight, however.

So, with the water being boiled, the rice settled in at the appropriate moment, I move onto making the beans. I heat the oil in another pot:

 Real artsy picture, right here. Real artsy.

and pull out the can of beans and tomato sauce.

GOYA! BANDITOOOOOO!

If I'm ever questioned yet again about my hispanic heritage, all I need do is pull out a can of this shit. They may just give me their prettiest virgin. I also took a pic of the tomato sauce:

I wasn't kidding. Pics of EVERYTHING.

I pop all of that shit into the pot and let it do what it does best: become delicious. With everything going as planned, I feel like a mah-fuggin' boss cooking this meal. However, as the chicken fries, I notice that the breadcrumbs aren't really...well, pronounced as I thought they'd be.

It's still pale, like bleached brains. Slightly more edible, however.

Slightly nervous, I give it a taste. not so bad, but it's kinda...eggy. I take out some Adobo (no picture of this, unfortunately; I didn't want to scare everyone with all of these hispanic shenanigans going on.) and sprinkle it adequately about the chicken.

Another taste. Amazing.

Everything is finally how I want it, albeit the chicken didn't brown as nicely as I wanted it to. The meal finishes rather quickly:

Admit it: You would sell a child for this meal.

It tasted great! I was proud of myself~ My only complaint would be that the rice was just a slightly bit hard; nothing to break dishes over, but I can feel my rice making powers getting stronger. I will get there...soon...

Oh yeah, and throughout this whole meal making process I was accosted by a tiny beast:

There is actually a shank inside that ice cream bar.