You have no idea. Well actually, you just might. COME WITH ME ON THIS JOURNEY.
So I had to thaw the steak, which I did earlier in the day. Once I got home, that junk was ready to go!
This is seriously the most pleasing picture I could take.
I chopped those suckers up before seasoning them with a mixture of soy sauce, red wine vinegar, adobo, garlic, and pepper. This was going to be the best steak you've ever eaten. And you don't even get to eat it. Next, I cut up all of the potatoes,
The stains on side of the fridge were from the
potatoes trying to escape.
and put them in a bowl. Now, this recipe called for olive oil and salt, but I was like eff that: I'm making these potatoes SPICIER THAN YOUR MOM. I found my spicy seasoning and went to town on these little potato quarters. I wasn't about to let them win.Once the seasoning was sprinkled, I had to shake the bowl up so every potato was covered. Oh, and did I have fun with that.
So much fun the picture got blurry!
FUN BEING HAD!
Them potatoes was shook.
The next step was boiling the rice - my worst enemy.
Don't let its appearance fool you - it's a dick.
I was determined to get it right this time, come hell or high water...what the hell does that even mean, anyway? Either we go to hell or drown? What if we didn't repent our sins...doesn't that mean we'd drown and then go to hell anyw- you know what, who cares.
I measured the water and put it into the pot, letting it get to a boil.
Yeah, that's uh...that's water getting to a boil.
Once that happened I slammed some garlic cloves and sazon into it to turn that water into a reddish liquid of flavor and love. LOVE.
Above: Flavor and LOVE.
At this point the water really began to boil, so I added the rice and a can of beans, let it boil just a bit longer, then lowered the heat and went on my merry way.
With everything going accordingly, I preheated the oven for the spuds.
The right temperature to PARTY.
As soon as the oven beeped, I dropped those bad bastards onto a tray and forgot about them for about 30 minutes. The last piece of the puzzle was up: cooking the steak.
By now, the steak was deliciously marinated and ready to be heated to a respectable temperature for devouring. I heated up a big pan with some oil and got straight to cooking.
This is always my favorite part~
The steak always cooks quickly, so it was done in a matter of minutes. As this was all coming together, I should note that I was feeling rather BOSS about this whole event. It was smelling great in the house, I felt like a pretty housewife waiting for their husband to get home (no lie, I felt like this. whatever man, I can cook.), and I figured "Hey, since I'm waiting...what the hell, lemme take a shot of some Hennessy and be a straight up man right now".
I got the bottle from our little rickety liquor cupboard and got a glass, filled it to an appropriate level (i.e. not enough to get me drunk) and down the sucker.
I immediately regretted that decision.
The devil.
I thought I might get sick, but the feeling never came over me. In its place, however, was shame. At this moment I did realize that I could never be an alcoholic, but I also realized that I don't like hard liquor. Like, at all. I'll stick to my cranberry vodkas, thank you very much...
Okay, so the finale. I checked on the rice to make sure it was coming out well.
It looks like the sultan of Agrabah.
Lookin' pretty good, I thought. Last on the list: the potatoes. I open the oven door...
Ah, yeah- that's nice.
Everything's done! I place it all onto a plate and decide to marvel in its glory:
OVERHEAD SHOT OF TASTINESS!
Everything came out swimmingly. Rice was still too soft, but it was great. At least I know that, when I'm older, I'll be able to gum that shit down. That is what we call a perk.
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